Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
