Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
