im drinking this country out of the recession.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
