I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
