He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
