just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
