foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
