I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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