Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
be right there i have to get my cape
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
