Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
