Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
