What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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