I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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