cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
