i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
