ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
