Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
