Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
