I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
