Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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