Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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