Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
