My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
