No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize