you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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