I want to have your abortion
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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