good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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