in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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