Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
