i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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