After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
