I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize