She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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