She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
