yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
