Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
