Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
