You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
