I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
