69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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