some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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