You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
