these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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