thus making me awesome and them whores
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
