oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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