I don't have enough holes for all these australians
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize