Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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