I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
