I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
