I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I bet he comes in French.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
