Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
