go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
