just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
