answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
