he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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