Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
