i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
