when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
