laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
