wanna go halves on a baby?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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