i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
