found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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