i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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