stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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