her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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