I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
