we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
