It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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