so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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