My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
