he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize