dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
