I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
